Texting and dating violence
In effect, the old boundaries have fallen away and anybody can come into your house – metaphorically – at any time and you’re going to be none the wiser if your partner is text cheating.One-in-three adolescents in the United States is a victim of abuse at the hands of an intimate partner.Nowadays you can send or receive a text or an email at any time of the day or night.If the phone rang, in the past, it was most probably a close friend or someone calling to arrange a social event (like a match in a golf tournament).We had a horrific argument which ended in me leaving with our 9 month old baby – as my fiancé would not show me his mobile phone bill to prove he had not been participating in these texts.We separated for one week and after discussions and an agreement that he would not contact this woman we decided to get back together.
In the pre-internet age, with the phone in the hall way, a phone call after ten o’clock would be an emergency – like a teenager stranded at a party or the death of a family member.
After all, if what I see being reblogged by teens on Tumblr is any indication, you’re supposed to have 24/7 access to your partner’s social media platforms and technology. And this normalization – by way of media and peers – is largely why only one-third of teenagers in abusive relationships are reporting the abuse.
You’re supposed to feel unreasonable anger when another girl writes on your boyfriend’s Facebook wall. Because, hey, what the media is selling is that manipulation and control are signs of a healthy relationship, and persevering through rough waters, waiting for loved ones to change their behavior, is commendable. Parents – of whom, by the way, only 19% recognize that teen dating violence is an issue – and teachers, while not to blame, can’t fix the problem – especially if they refuse to acknowledge that there is one. What that means is that the relationship styles and cycles that you find yourself in when you’re young usually stick with you.
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