Scared him away dating
I feel like a slave to my fears of rejection, and it’s causing a “let me reject you before you reject me! All you do is end up alienating the people who have the potential to care for you. Remember: Men do what they want, not what you want.
” nuclear reaction that slimes everything in radiation and leaves everyone, self included, emotionally flayed. Stop expecting them to do what you want, try to understand where they’re coming from, and you’ll soon discover that they start appreciating you a lot more.
You really like this guy, and you are wondering what you can do (or avoid doing) to keep this relationship going and not scare him away.
The truth is there are certain things that women can do that will scare men away every single time.
Reading your blog has been so useful to me over the last 2 months of intense dating, thank you.
And as much as it might seem like his feelings have changed forever towards you, there’s something you should realize: A man’s feelings can change very quickly, whether you want them to or not. most women don’t handle this reality about men, dating, and relationships very well at all.When a man pulls back just a little bit – even very early on, and very possibly just in my head – I start to freak out on the inside, to write the death warrant on the non-relationship, and to become tense about the whole affair. But when I’m in the middle of an “it’s over and he doesn’t like me! ” attack it feels 100 percent like the only course of action. I suddenly see the mature, thoughtful way I could asked them what was going on with them that I didn’t take. I’m about the last person you should be asking for advice on defending yourself. And letting everyone know that you’re right is like a full time no-paying job.I write “you’re obviously not interested – nice to know you” emails way too quickly, leaving men going “Wait. ” They often stick around to work it out – I swear some of them even *like* it – but I’ve poisoned the natural progression of our discourse, and I think the long-term effects are usually negative. Then I write the email/leave the voice message and… Do you have any mechanisms, anything at all, for heading off this behavior at the pass? I’m constantly writing long-winded, emotional, poorly-thought-out responses to the various ways that my words are minced, mangled, and misinterpreted – and every time I do, I feel a piece of my soul break away. Which is the key point – there are NO REWARDS for being right. But if you consistently fly off the handle that every man in the world isn’t following your imaginary script as to how he’s supposed to act, you’re essentially writing your own unhappy ending.But here is what doesn’t help: getting down on yourself, feeling overly frustrated and hopeless, and dwelling over the lack of CONTROL you have in your situation.What does help is learning from your mistakes and realizing a few important things about men.